May the force be with you.

Hi,
   How is everyone? Im doing ok.Still living in Amma's ashram, but I think my depression is leaving me.I think Amma's grace is finally turning me over a new leaf. Wow.I think im finally changing. Negative thoughts dont bother me as much, my sadhana is going on smoothly,things are looking positive.I checked my horoscope and my Budha dasha(Mercury's time period) is getting over. I dont think anybody has faced so much of Shani(Saturns period) as me.I was born during Vyaya dasha(Jupiters timeperiod ), but that got over for me when I was 3 years old. Thats why I was so unlucky.That is my best placed planet and that got over when I was friggin' 3 years old. Then the Shani (Saturn's timeperiod) dasha started. I faced the full brunt of Shani , for a massive 18 years. Then when I finally thought I was free of this deadly planet, things got worse. I thought I had Budha dasha(Mercury time) , and went to the US of A. Little did I know , that Saturns 7 and 1/2 years was yet to come. Then I bore the full force of that , which had me change jobs like I was changing underwear,ended a 3 or 4 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend,which left me emotionally drained and finally the nail in the coffin was my depression.So I came back to India,and you know the story from there onwards.Anyways my 7 and 1/2 years of Saturn got over in 2009 and then my kandaka shani (Saturn in 5th house) started. So effectively , I have had 18 years of Saturn , plus 7 and a half years of saturn , and now 2 and a half years of saturn. Its like Saturn and me are inseparable friends.We belong with each other.

Good God, I think I am the only human in this world who has had so much Saturn Time. This planet is not good. It is venomous, and is the greatest leveler in this world. Its like death.It will strike u hard if u do anything which is not in accordance with God's wish.I think by the time , Im through with this saturn , I would have evolved backwards , like I would be part human, part ape.

One for the road.

Hello Folks,
                 This is me ,again. I got a 5 year work experience certificate of appreciation, a couple of weeks back,from my company, which made me very happy. That is awesome. Besides that Im still following the spiritual path. One of the articles I read, mentioned how you can judge your progress in spirituality. It says the less thoughts you have, the better it is and that you have progressed in spirituality. I should start meditating as I dont do any meditation nowadays.
            My sadhana or spiritual practice consists of waking up, and chanting the ashtotharam( 108 names of amma ) , the lalitha sahasranamam and then the mahisasura mardhini.This takes about 45-50 minutes.Then I chant my mantra, 500 times,then pray to God shiva and god hanumanji.This is all in the morning. This energizes me and makes me positive during most of the day. The problem is in the evenings and night time. I feel that I have less energy and less divine energy in me , during those times . So I decided to chant the mantra 500 times in the evenings again. Before I go to sleep I pray for all the people, I care about , chant the mantra 500 times and then say some small prayers .
       I have also started trying to lose some weight ,because I am obese.Today I am planning on going for ammas darshan. Today is the last day of darshan , as Amma is going on the U.S. tour. She starts of by going to Japan, then reaches seattle,washington for the start of the 2 month long tour.
        I have continuously been attending amma's bhajans and feel a lot of changes in me. Its taken a while,but I have , at last , started on the road to recovery.These anti-depressants are really bad for me. Ive put on a ton of weight .I have to reduce , and I have started dieting and exercising.